drafts.

unpublished drafts are similar to unexpressed thoughts.

they may not be published due to several reasons.
the author might think that the writing is not ready yet to be published.
maybe due to its structure or unfinished writings, which ideas have yet to come to the author.
maybe the writing might offence or hurt someone else.
or maybe it is meant to stay as draft for the author to keep it to themselves.

for the latter,
personally, it is suffocating to keep something to myself.
it may not be appropriate to always express your thoughts to related person.
especially when it involves someone's habits, behaviour or beliefs.
*P.S.: when I say beliefs, it does not necessarily mean religion.*

as to avoid hurting someone else, I will write it instead and keep it as a draft.
I will review it over and over again, and thought to myself, will my writing hurt someone when they read it?

people respond differently to critics.
some may positively and think logically on why I have such thoughts.
but some may not.
they may misunderstood the meaning of a piece of writing, and negatively respond to the critics.

changing.

found this while browsing thru my old emails.
sent this to someone before, and never posted it up.
and after re-reading it, I think it's worth sharing for :)

***

to have a relationship with someone gives you a benefit.
to know yourself better, with the help of someone special, who is willingly to help you change and become a better person.
bear with your bad side, let you know about it, and talk to you nicely about it and how WE can fix it :)
acquaintances and normal friends, if they happen to see your bad side, will just walk away from you without letting you know about it.
by having someone special, they let you know and learn how you usually interact with others and how they feel about it.

changing does not mean that we have to be an ideal person according to that someone special.
but becoming a better person without having to put on our mask, with a purpose of pleasing others only.
changing, with a motivation to make our beloved ones happy, not just our dearest someone special.
because when that someone special leaves, we will still have our beloved ones as a motivation for us to become a better person.

Theodor Seuss Geisel said, "Do not cry because it is over. Smile because it happened."
ending a relationship is never pleasing to people, but cherish the relationship because it has given us lessons :)
at the end of a relationship, we will think where we did wrong, an action of unknowingly self-introspection.
if we finally found our bad side, we will try to change, and by doing that, we eventually will become a better person, who is worth of someone better that the previous.
worth of someone special who will bear with you, even in your worst condition :)
when it happens, then forever is theirs.

thanks for making me a better person.
vee.

unfold 2

another good piece of work from jinnyboy :)

it scares me how it is so real.
and at the end, when it comes to farewell, it is just as heartbreaking for both parties.

Thought Catalog - Breaking Up is Just as Heartbreaking

quoting from above post:
"That said, I am unbelievably tired of the idea that being the one to leave is so easy. It's not. People don't break up because they enjoy doing it or because they have a list of one-night stands to get through (usually). They do it because they value themselves and their time too much to waste on something irreparable, and because they don't think a temporarily broken heart is quite as bad as a potentially broken future."

vee.

blissful.

it's amazing to have someone who will listen to your stories and thoughts, no matter how ridiculous it is.

vee.

INTERNSHIP, BABYYY!

this day has been treating me very good from the start.

waking up late in the morning, and was worried about not getting space in the library.
but I still can find a place in the library :)

on the way to uni this morning, two of my favourite songs played back to back in shuffle.

I must have been very lucky today.

and what make today as the best day ever:

*jeng jeng jeng*

I GOT AN INTERNSHIP, BABYYYYY!

with vincent as well.

so congratulations for both of us!

I am very very very very excited and happy tonite! XD

especially thanks to Wen An for referring me to the companies that I have to apply.

thank you soooooo much.

hugs and kisses!

anyway, I just want to tell you that I AM SOOOOO HAPPY tonight!

hope the mood will go on until tomorrow and the next day and next next day.

love,

vee.

"The Last" by Wongfu Productions

it is indeed a beautiful piece of work.

"one of our greatest gift of being alive is to give, receive, and lose love"

"what a waste if we don't strive to love in our life"

"why waste life not loving?"


and this gives me courage.

love,
vee.

grateful indeed :)

grateful for much supportive family and relatives.
encouraging me whenever I am down.
feel the love even though we are not physically close.
thanks God.

grateful for crazy friends here.
"keeping my sanity in healthy level".
thanks for the laughter, encouragement, and companionship.
you make my day :)

vee.

what will you feel if it is you?

I live in an era, where dating relationship has higher priority than parents.

when things in relationship go wrong, you can release your anger to everyone, especially your parents.

at least that is what I observed.

after looking back to my past, I realized I did that too.

luckily the distance between me and my parents slapped me out of it, and makes me realize how they are so important in my life and how they long to be loved by their children.

unfortunately, I still see this problem happening.

I can't stand people who are not respectful to their parents.

not to say that he/she does not being respectful to his/her parents all the time, but in some cases, he/she does.

and the case is the problem in the relationships that person has sometimes.

I do agree that the overly affection and care of parents are sometimes annoying.

asking multiple times in a day won't help to solve the problem.

BUT, do you actually realize that your parents are just worried about you?

especially when you are far from them, and they can't hug you to calm you down.

do you think how will you feel if you as a parent, and your child is behaving that way towards you?

you care for your child, but your child does not seem to see it that way.

you don't think you do any wrong by asking your child whether their problem has been solved.

and I think it is not wrong at all.

at this age, you may have realize that your parents can leave you someday.

do you want that day to be filled full of regrets?

you are too busy with your life, that you forgot that your parents are getting old.

they need to be loved as how they have always loved, and will always love you.

I am begging you,

before you reacts to your parents' "annoying" care,

think how will you feel as a parent if your child is acting that way towards you.

I don't care what you do to your friends when you are having problems or bad days.

but please, don't release it on your parents.

love them, as how you want to be loved by everyone.

try to fit in their shoes.

it may be too big for you now, but someday you will wear it too.

love,

vee

a happy post, finally! :D

while scanning thru my old posts, I saw the blog title and it made me think.

the blog title is "life is a rollercoaster. it has its ups and downs", but I haven't posted up much about the "ups" during my roller coaster ride.

so I think I should be posting something about it :p

while reading my blog posts, I realized that I did not post so much about happiness in my life.

when actually, I am truly blessed with the life I have.

loving family and friends, with everything I want can be obtained.

*well, not everything, but the possible ones can be mine if I try to get it* ;)

so yesterday , never thought it would be this special.

at first, seeing those people with their parents made me somehow feels sad.

even though it was not a big event, I really wish my parents to be here.

but, oh well, can't force what can't be done.

at the end, my small "family" here makes me extremely happy today :D

celebrating the event that I never thought it will be celebrated.

simple lunch and affection do their magic on me.

roses with chocolates and companions. what more can I ask? ;)

never underestimate the power of simple and small stuffs.

your simple action, care and affection to people can make them smiling ;)

even it's just a "hello", and "how are you doing?".

you'll never know when they need those simple stuffs.

thank you for making my day and makes me feel like I'm the happiest girl alive!

you know who you are ;)

***

on a completely unrelated topic,
just now mum bbm-ed me, asking what am I doing.
I answered that I am doing mask.
I expected that she would say that I had so much free time to be doing mask, and asking about the progress of my assignments.
And I was shocked to see how mum so supportive about me taking care of my face :p
she didn't even mention about assignment.
what a loving mum ♥

love,

vee

sometimes I hate myself for being too perfectionist.
sigh.

SARA

it's a short of Suku, Ras, dan Agama, or Ethnic, Race, and Religion.
it's a sensitive and widespread (or should I say epidemic?) issues in Indonesia.
your race, ethnicity, and religion will determine how you will be treated by others.

maybe it's not really obvious to you, Indonesians, who are never been taking care of official things, or running for something big that it involves the province or country itself.
not to say that I have, but the issues have never been obvious to me until I grow up and see it with my own eyes, instead of just listening.

even though I was born in 1992, I have no memory about the May 1998 tragedy.
when I heard about it, I asked my mum why I didn't have any memories about that?
she said I was not going to school because it was too dangerous during the tragedy.
but I have no memory about skipping class because of that.
after wondering so much and finding no answers, maybe it's because mum and dad were trying to protect me  from the trauma that I might get from the tragedy, or, maybe I was too young to understand, or maybe it's my goldfish memory.

okay, to the point.
waking up early morning, thinking of going to 8-am lecture, but I stumbled upon this video on facebook, shared by my friends.



in Jakarta, soon there will be election to choose the Governor of Jakarta.
Fauzi Bowo (FB) or Jokowi (J).
FB is currently the Governor of Jakarta.

There is an issue going on, saying that J's mum and his Vice Governor are Christians.
and it was said by Rhoma Irama (RI), a supporter of FB, that Indonesia can't be govern by non-Muslim.
RI stated that in Al-Qur'an, there is a statement saying that people should love each other, regardless of what their religion, ethnic, or race are. but in akidah (i don't know what it is, I am assuming official stuffs like governing or ruling a country), you are not supposed to choose a non-Muslim.
(P.S.: please do correct me if I am wrong. sorry if I misinterpret, but this is what I get from the video).

the old guy earlier said, "what a person's religion or condition is, it's a fact. there is no need to point things out. if we keep pointing out the facts in a rude way, it will become a unnecessarily big issue."
it is the flaws we (human) have, and maybe we, ourselves, have to reflect on this.

I don't blame RI for his beliefs, because, for what he stated, he understands it from the Al-Qur'an.
however, there are many ways to decipher what the noble book of each religion are trying to say to us.
interpretation of Bible, for example, it is different for each people.
it is like interpreting a novel, which only God and the writer know what the writer is actually trying to say.
there are many jokes in the internet, talking about teachers and their interpretation of poem.
"The curtain is blue".
for us, the statement might just be a blue curtain, a detail pointed out by writer.
but teachers, they are trying to let us see what we might not see normally.
blue can represent calmness, or maybe the longing of someone.

I don't blame RI for his knowledge about "everything on internet is valid".
I didn't know Wikipedia is not a good source of knowledge until I was in college.
education system should try to teach students, early in their age, that not everything on internet is valid.
many are rubbish.
you have to find and think, to know whether a source is reliable.
bias can still occur even in journal articles, a credible source for many intelligent individuals.

when the presenter said, "but SARA is everywhere, if I am trying to be Solo Governor, they will be saying I am from Padang. our people (Indonesians) are like that"
and J just reply, "I am a Muslim, right?"
inside, I really hope J will reply, "it is true that majority of Indonesians are like that. but it has to stop somewhere. someone should start to stop the racism, and maybe this election can be the right time for it."

and I saw another video under the previous video.



for me, the woman, Ratna Sarumpaet, is  really brave for pointing out the sensitive things, which is really needed in Indonesia.
she pointed out, "in Indonesia, most of the official positions are seated by Muslim. but the corruption is still going on and it is a very big issues".
she was not pointing out that Muslims are bad person, for she is a Muslim herself.
then, she stated again, "I am not saying that Muslims are bad person. I just pointed out what could happen if you keep connecting everything with religion."

I remember when mum said to me:
"you can be into any religion you want. there is no bad religion. all religion are trying to teach us to be a better person. but you must promise me that you will be practising it right. all bad things that happened and connected to a certain religion (e.g. terrorism and Muslim), were due to the individuals understanding of the religion, not the religion itself."
I am very lucky to born in this family :)

I really need to go to lecture now.
P.S.: i feel kinda old for interested in such things now.

who deserves the gold medal?

it's been sometimes since I've posted, but yet I write about my anger.
sorry.

last nite was the men's single final badminton match in London olympics 2012.
Lin Dan (LD) vs. Lee Chong Wei (LCW)
at the end of the match, LD won.
LD and LCW had put up a great performance to show how much they wanted to bring the gold medal back.

the thing that I could not understand is, why do many people posted about 'LD is sooo arrogant', 'LD just won out of luck', and stuffs like that.
he won, because he has the skills to be a winner.
people keep saying LD is arrogant bla bla bla. he IS arrogant, but he has the skills that allow him to be arrogant.
does arrogant people do not deserve victory?
does he practice less than his opponent?
does he do not want the gold medal as much as his opponent does?

people please, put your point of view into both of them.
I admit that LCW had put up a lot of efforts to bring the gold medal back for his country, and I am sad to look at his face on the podium.
your complaints won't make the gold medal to be LCW's anyway.

perfect relationships.

I have just realized that there is no such thing as perfect relationship.

when you have a guy that loves and respects you, can be trusted, has all personalities and stuffs you have dreamt about.
then you can't meet him everyday or anytime you want to.
then magical sparks will slowly fade away.

when you can meet him everyday and everytime you want to.
he does not understand you.
you just do not get why he acts that way.
patience has reached its limit and promises are broken.
then, goodbye.

in what-seems-like perfect relationship,
both person understand their partner.
fights and arguments are there, but each other knows their partner limits, and stop when they should stop.
one might wander off and piss off their partner, but they will know when they need to get back and apologize for what he/she has done.

I should have been doing my lab reports now.